Failure™ Magazine

Philadelphia Phillies: Loss Leaders

Philly Phanatics create Celebrate10000.com to commemorate 10,000 Phillies’ defeats.

Written by Jason Zasky   Filed under Sports

Meanwhile, as soon as that ten-thousanth defeat is in the books—most likely, sometime in July—DeBow plans to give Celebrate 10,000 supporters the chance to publicly vent their frustrations. “We plan to hold a parade from the Connie Mack statue [outside Citizens Bank Park, current home of the Phillies] to Chickie’s & Pete’s sports bar [on Packer Avenue in South Philly], where we’re going to put a microphone on stage and give people an opportunity to ‘air their grievances,’” says DeBow, referencing the Festivus holiday tradition popularized by Seinfeld’s Frank Costanza.

The irony is that Phillies fans don’t have much to complain about right now. As of June 20 the team is three games above .500 and just two games behind the first-place New York Mets in the National League East. One could also argue that the club’s long-term prospects are bright, with the roster featuring young standouts like first baseman Ryan Howard, second baseman Chase Utley, and pitcher Cole Hamels.

Yet, Philly Phans know better than to get their hopes up. And anyway, DeBow doesn’t expect outsiders to understand the subtle distinction between celebrating the Phillies and celebrating defeat. “We’re not really celebrating losing,” DeBow begins, “we’re celebrating the fact that we still care about this team when all they do is lose.”

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