Failure™ Magazine

Fruitcake

Forget the jokes, fruitcake is serious business.

Written by Jason Zasky   Filed under Business, Life

Fruitcake In The Spotlight
On occasion, someone takes a stab at improving the fruitcake’s public image. Last Christmas, [anonymous] Productions, a Pennsylvania-based ad agency, created the “Holiday Food Everyone Can Love” campaign. “It was no simple task,” said Alexander Krail, spokesman for the so-called ‘account.’ “We put together a multi-faceted media campaign promoting the fruitcake ‘brand.’ We believe the ads have helped reposition fruitcake as ‘the holiday food everyone can love.’ At the very least, we hope our efforts helped make the holidays brighter for anyone exposed to our message.”

Of course, many people see no redeeming value in any fruitcake, regardless of how old it is. Cinnabon, the cinnamon roll retailer, once invited consumers to trade in any unwanted fruitcake for a free cinnabon. And each year, a fruitcake toss is held at Manitou Springs Memorial Park in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Participants are invited to throw, use a golf club, or utilize a mechanical device to send fruitcakes flying through the air. “A waste of good food,” says John, sheepishly. “Actually, some of it is not a waste. There are some bad fruitcakes that deserve to be tossed,” he admits.

All jokes aside, the industry’s biggest problem seems to be an aging customer base. With all the preconceived notions, it’s simply hard to get young people to try fruitcake. “They’re missing out on something.” says John. “It’s not like they are missing out on a brownie. But it’s like broccoli. President Bush [Sr.] didn’t eat broccoli so I’m not going to eat any. People just take other people’s word that it’s no good.”

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