Failure™ Magazine

Bengals fan suspended from school for helmet hair

Written by Jason Zasky as part of Failure Analysis

As if being a Cincinnati Bengals fan isn’t punishment enough, Dustin Reader, 14, from Hamilton, Ohio, has been suspended from school for getting a haircut that mimics the stripes on the team’s orange and black helmets.

The eighth grader says he got the ’do because he’s a big fan of the team, but administrators at his middle school claim it violates the code of conduct, which prohibits “extreme or distracting haircuts and hairstyles.” (As if attracting national news attention is less distracting than letting it go.)

For their part, Reader’s mom & dad don’t seem to have a problem with their son’s haircut. “I didn’t think he’d get in trouble for it,” said Dustin’s mother, Tina Wanamaker.

Certainly it’s no more ridiculous than some of the looks Chad Ocho Cinco has sported on game days.

Besides, Reader will probably get the urge the shave his head before school resumes next week … after the Steelers beat the Bengals on Sunday at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh.