11,002 Things to be Miserable About

by Lia Romeo and Nick Romeo, Abrams Image.

11002 Things To Be Miserable Abo

This book is overwhelmingly awful. No, wait. That didn’t come out right. What I mean is that it contains such a long list of all-things-awful that it’s positively overwhelming. But what do you expect from a tome titled “11,002 Things to be Miserable About”?

Of course, “11,002 Things …” is the answer—or antidote—to Barbara Ann Kipfer’s million-selling “14,000 Things to be Happy About.” And the misery-inducing problems of which it reminds the reader range from minor irritants like “CDs that skip” and “trash bags that break,” to catastrophic disasters like “toxic mold” and “President George W. Bush.” Predictably, many of the entries concern interpersonal relations—“people who ask what’s wrong with your face,” for instance—and sources of unending frustration, like “the failure of the world to acknowledge your genius.” 

Be forewarned: If you’re a happy person, “11,002 Things …” will almost certainly put a frown on your face. And if you’re already miserable, it might very well plunge you into the abyss. Consider the back cover testimonial from Roger Smith, sanitation worker (deceased), who purportedly said, “I’d been thinking about killing myself for a long time and reading this book gave me the courage to finally go through with it.”

That’s why of all the things to be miserable about, one item on the list stands above the rest: “Reading this book.”